:: My Point Of View ::

September 20, 2011

Everything Matters

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart — lv @ 2:27 pm
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it’s a cold day. raindrops splattered on the window panes. and i am immediately transported to the times when nothing matters…. yet. when ignorance was indeed bliss. today it hit me again that everything matters, greatly.

i wish i have never picked up that first call that faithful night….

T___T

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September 13, 2011

Big Love + Little Nuggets

Filed under: Hot & Zesty People,Matter Of The Heart — lv @ 3:04 pm
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it’s amazing how a 7y.o could understand the meaning of LOVE and touch your heart by just a simple stick-figure drawing . a big uneven heart-shape circling little stick-figure family with two little heart-shapes on each parent’s hand. HEART-SHAPES ON EACH HAND!!! and a caption that will crush your heart to pieces. *wipes tears*

my heart still ache from all the unfortunate things that happened. horrible thing that no children in the world should ever experience in their young little lives. gosh!! how i hate messed-up grown-ups sometimes!!! now whenever i see their happy faces in the photos that i used to take for them send a big lump to my throat. ALAS. all i can do is pray for the better. God guides them and us to weather the storm.

to my beautiful Little Nuggets, whatever happen next, whoever you’ll be with next, whichever path you’ll take next, whenever you think of us, please know that ong che che always, ALWAYS, have this Big Love for you. bigger than the uneven heart-shape in the drawing.

xoxo

*sobs*

March 8, 2011

Winter In My Heart

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart — lv @ 7:38 pm
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it’s cold. i fear i might lost all my sense of feeling towards everything and anything. no there’s no snow. just cold. quiet. and somewhat a tint of sorrow. disappointment after disappointment. i am tired. i covet solitude. but where can i run?!

then i remember your heart. it’s warm. it is also here. close to mine. keeping me fuzzy inside out. i didnt mean to steal and keep it. i had it then. i have it now. i want to have it forever. please hold my hands. very tight.

winter. the season will pass.

love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, ENDURES ALL THINGS. ~ 1 Cor 13:17

be blessed, peeps!

December 6, 2010

in dip sheet!

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart — lv @ 4:57 pm
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i have 35 minutes before time off. i intended to blog about melbourne but oh well people tend to swing to another direction sometimes and i am doing just that exactly. now. so what am i suppose to blog about? honestly i don’t know. all i know i am in such a dip sheet!!!! dip sheet!!!! my cognitive is slower than my heartbeats. thus it’s so easy to make a wrong decision. which is bad and dangerous. that’s why again, i am in such a dip sheet!!! last night over a heated conversation i realised. wait. we both realised. we tend to get moody over a certain occasion. it’s a happy occasion but i just dont know why it contributes to the emoness, again I am in dip sheet!!! because the true essence wasnt out to the surface yet. and in such good crowded occasion filled with cheerful laughters and wishes and love i felt very lonely…… as i tried to catch just a glimpse of that familiar heartbeats and image i felt so out of reach. i am falling into such a dip sheet tat I wonder my integrity. i’m not impressed with the artworks. they made me turn green and left out. oh gosh!! i am indeed in such a dip sheet!!! and who allow this to happen? me! *sigh* i am sorry again u have to read another cryptic emo post from me. i can’t help it. dip sheet is all over my head. and i know if i dont vent it out i’ll go crazy or turn into a sheet myself which u wont recognise. here i am today missing running…… and in time like this i felt the heart of Henry deTamble. Have you heard about him? You should.

be blessed, peeps!

Happy Monday!!

November 8, 2010

Monday Musings

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart,Monday Musings — lv @ 3:47 pm
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i’m finally back to labuan. after two eventful weeks in miri. both work and personal alike.

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i’m exhausted!

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and i know i’m depressed when i lose weight T______________T

it’s something i’ve come to realised and yet comprehend. mood swing and hyper-sensitive to the slightest changes in my environment and words spoken. all i want is to stand at the edge of a cliff and scream bloody murder and pour out everything that’s been bottled up inside which i am still not capable to identify. or maybe i knew all along but still in strong denial in fear more tears being shed! regrets haunt me on imperfect works i’ve done, disappointments creep in on things that are not up to my expectation and sadness fell on me thinking that i could do better. uncertainties and reservations once again flooding in. this ugly ugly feeling, i really despise you!!

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i miss my two fav ladies so much today. The Cousin and The Bestie. i couldnt be more happier that they’ve finally found their men and happily married *wipes tears* but then again i miss them heaps you wont understand……

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i miss running too. and i believe the botanical garden misses me too. i can feel now that my purpose of running has drifted to something else. from the beginning i was running towards my goal. to maintain and fit in those size 24 jeans and that skinny black tube dress. and now that i’ve got it!! i’ve lose those unwanted kgs and i’m happy. but now i feel like i am running from something. something only God knows and i couldnt disclose. something that has been tagging me for so long that i am again in such a mess to keep on denying its existence. Oh Lord, please help me with this!! T______T

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distraction! i need distraction!! to keep me sane. to restore my senses.

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i know this is an emo post on a Monday. but it’s a normal phase, no?

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In the multitude of my anxieties within me,Your comforts delight my soul.
Psalm 94:19

Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

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and this too shall pass……

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in time like this, i want to remember and treasure happy moments. retail therapy!!

fitting room actions!! and look at my pretty bling-ed cameraphone! nice or not?! :p

Happy Monday, peeps!!

July 5, 2010

His Promises Never Fail

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart — lv @ 6:03 pm
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but WHAT IS YOUR PROMISE TO HIM?!

have you fulfill them??!

or do you even remember about it at all?!

or do you pretend to forget about it all?!

T______________________T

*deep in thought and emo max and teary*

“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15

be blessed, ppl!

♥ cilipadi

November 22, 2009

PoPo, pls come home….

Filed under: Snippets Of The Piquant Life — lv @ 6:59 pm
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it has been five long days.
huhuhuhu….. where are you?

we all knew that this day will come
as male cat can never stay forever at one home T__T
but we just never expect that it can be this soon…
*cries*

for you who dont know you may click here for more info about PoPo.

and how can i not have his photos? so here goes….

#1

artsy attempt with PoPo :p

#2

his signature blue eyes *missing....* T_T

#3

PoPo in his his element.... shy!! ya, my cat is a shy male cat :p

have you seen a drunk cat?! here’s one.

#4

drunk!! usual scene you see whenever he returns from his long night out. but this time he never returns home T_T

*back to emo mood*

dear PoPo, we miss you so much
so pls come home…
come home…
T________T

be blessed, ppl!

i live to learn and i learn to live with it

November 13, 2009

No Deal!

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart,On The ROCK!! — lv @ 11:47 pm
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i am running out of title so i just use the title of today’s daily bread.
the daily bread booklet used to be my guidance during my daily devotion.
which i am shamelessly declaring now that a routine i’ve missed for so long now T__T
i dunno why. let just say laziness wins everytime!!

It is written, “man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word of God.” Luke 4:4
this message seems so appropriate today.

God knows what’s in my heart atm.
it is a jumble of stress and depression.
i can’t wait for all this mess to end.
really. pls!

just came back from the corporate prayer meeting.
one sharing touched my heart.

the three generations.

oh Lord, forgive us for sinning against our elderly, the authority above us, the GENERATION BEFORE US. forgive us for not obeying and honoring them the way we should and should have been.

oh Lord, forgive us for sinning against our CURRENT GENERATION. forgive us for not caring about the things going around us. for not loving enough. for not taking chances. for taking things for granted. for letting our own friends slip away T__T

oh Lord, forgive us for sinning against our FUTURE GENERATION that we do not set the excellent examples for the young ones. for not creating legacy to last for generations.

dear Lord, forgive us. forgive ME.

be blessed, ppl!

i live to learn and i learn to live with it

July 11, 2009

Protected: so the —> hit my left sleeve…… ;-)

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July 10, 2009

homo sapien is a funny thing

Filed under: Matter Of The Heart — lv @ 11:52 pm
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*this is a backdated post which is supposed to be posted yesterday…. but still wanna post it cos i can!

I longed to be alone today in hope to shake off this throbbing weird feelings i had and try to find solitude somewhere in between the busy-ness of the city. i pictured myself holding Stephanie Meyer’s collection which i got from the Popular lounging at Starbucks reading while sipping caramel macchiato trying to detach myself from the surroundings. i was in dearth of joy and was wearing my black elle hoody sweater paired with my grey shorts and my faithful crocs. i was not sure whether i wear glasses or not but i was wearing my grey army cap. I just wanna be alone till i can let go off the feelings before i resume to normal reality…. i had high hope that the human-vampire love fiction could engross me till i can align myself back, focus and hit the ground….. not until all the sweet scenes were ruined by the sudden massive spins in my head. before the world turn black i landed on the couch and remained there for almost the whole day… *sigh*

gone was my pretty plan to ease my uneasy heart…

aihh… this feelings of absence-ness is a funny thing….

why do homo sapiens feel this way sometimes?!

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today i hit the desk with high spirit. all preped and dolled. but not ready for any serious stuff. i was procrastinating. again!

*come to think of it i was kinda emo up there!! wat lah!! eeeee….. but still wanna post it cos i can!

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